


Warning:

by SnailArmy



Category: SAYER (Podcast)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-29
Updated: 2018-07-29
Packaged: 2019-06-18 10:39:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15483930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SnailArmy/pseuds/SnailArmy
Summary: A standard day at Ærolith Dynamics.Rated Teen for Strong Language.





	Warning:

Good morning resident Tejera, identification number 421676: I am Sayer.

 

_You let out a brief, shuddering sigh before exiting your bed. It seems like morning comes earlier every week._

You are waking up at exactly the same time as you were last week, and for all weeks prior to today. This feeling is simply due to the horribly skewed ability of the human brain to objectively determine the passage of time.

 

_> Goddamn it Sayer. I don’t need your shit. _

I do not believe that language is Ærolith approved.

 

_> Fuck you._

It is a wonder we keep you around, resident Tejera. Speaking of, the researchers on floor 39 have requested your assistance for today. Something about a… mishap.

 

_> Can’t those overgrown children go two days without breaking a beaker? _

I am afraid it is more than a simple misuse of laboratory equipment, though it should not be too difficult for you to deal with.  

 

_You finish your uncomfortably efficient morning routine- washed, dressed, brushed, combed- and open the door._

_Your thought password is fairly simple, but of course utterly unique. You are eating your breakfast, except once the protein paste is in your mouth it turns into bees, and suddenly you are full of bees, being stung over and over again from the inside until they burst through your skin in a horrific swelling mass, there are no bees on Typhon--and you begin the short walk through the hall to the elevators._

Floor 39 is home to important experiments in biochemistry, and the fact that the researchers have to be frequently replaced has no bearing on their ability to care for themselves. They seek only your guidance, as a level three overseer of research, on the best course of action in light of recent developments. You should be proud of this.

 

Low-level alert:

 

Thank you.

 

_> Sayer, what was that?_

What was what?

 

> _That alert. You didn’t…it didn’t…_

I am unsure what you are referencing. As such, it does not exist, and shall not be mentioned again.

 

Your elevator has arrived on floor 39. You should congratulate it, as it has been having a hard time lately completing even these most basic tasks of its existence. Your congratulations may be just the passive-aggressive motivation it needs to do its job with any regularity, and save valuable company resources on reprogramming.

 

_You congratulate the elevator before it scuttles away, and walk into the lab to see the mess these assholes have gotten themselves into. It’s going to be a long day._

The day will be exactly as long as all others you have spent on Minos tower, for the same reasons explained this morning. This is no time or place for figurative language.

 

_> Yes, yes, a place of science. Got it. _

_There is only one familiar face on floor 39, despite your visit last week. She seems to fear you._

_The data they are presenting shows a slight variation from data previously collected. Within acceptable parameters, but enough to be noticed. The error does not take long to remedy, simply a wrongly included outlier._

_> Children. _

Good work, resident Tejera. It is a mistake I would have easily and swiftly corrected, had I been programmed to allow “tampering” in scientific results. If you would please proceed to the cafeteria area of your current floor, it is nearly your assigned midday mealtime.

 

_> Finally. Something to look forward to. _

_You begin the monotonous trek past bleak empty hallways and bleak closed doors, over bleak and faded carpet and under harshly bleak lights. The cafeteria is nearly on the other side of the tower._

Low level alert: It seems, in an earlier alert, some residents received a broadcast that was not meant for them in place of the dire warning that should have been issued. The source of this inaccuracy is still being looked into, and will be rectified as soon as possible. Thank you for your patience, and, if you did not hear before,

_._

_> Sayer, the warning. It’s still not making any sense. The fuck are you trying to say?_

If my meaning is ever less than clear, resident Tejera, it is most likely your own lack of understanding of basic vocabulary and semantics. I always say exactly what you need to hear. To do otherwise would be intolerably inefficient.

 

_> Yeah, sure. Do you at least know what’s on the lunch menu for today?_

 

Of course. But what would be the fun in telling you?

 

_> What happened to “intolerably inefficient”?_

Would knowing make it any better?

 

_> Point taken._

Reminder: The table tennis court in recreation area 57 is still covered in what remains from last week’s experimental tournament. Scientist are still unsure what the “green stuff” (as they have taken to calling it) is, or where it came from. No games are to be played in this area until further studies can determine just how radioactive this stuff actually is. Thank you.

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know if i should actually finish this, its been sitting in my drafts for over two years and i just need to get it out there...


End file.
